


Runaway Heart

by poisonmoone



Category: Mötley Crüe
Genre: 1980’s, Angst, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friendship, LA, Motley Crue - Freeform, Music, Partying, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex, Sunset Strip, Swearing, drugs use, rock n roll, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24004738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonmoone/pseuds/poisonmoone
Summary: Stella James ran away from a place where it was her against the world; literally. She had no one back home who was there for her, so why stay. She made her way to LA to start her new life, despite how cliche she thought it sounded. Stella befriended Nikki Sixx on her first night in LA and he changes her life forever. But Stella soon finds herself wrapped up in the world of the Sunset Strip and falling for a certain bassist.
Relationships: Nikki Sixx/OC Female Character
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I’m shit at summaries. But i think this is gonna be a good story. Ive been working on it for a while :) feedback is welcomed and i hope you enjoy. Idk if its good but i hope it is.

It was time for a new beginning, a new her, a new life. She knew it was cliche, but she had to runaway from a place that wasn’t good to her, a place that ruined her life this far. She stepped off the old greyhound bus and into the crisp night air of Los Angeles. While the other riders retrieved their bags from the under storage, she tightened her grip on her raggedy backpack and duffle bag and began to walk. She had only brought a few items of clothing, her journals, whatever money should could get her hands on, some makeup and some memories from home. She may not have much to her name but there is a lot to her heart. She came from a town along the Jersey Shore; she both hitchhiked and took various buses across the country to finally reach LA. It was 1981 and she was 18 years old, a fresh high school dropout and she was ready to start her new life. 

Her tattered chucks scuffled against the pavement of the city as her eyes focused on all the excitement. People say that New York is the city that never sleeps, but it is really Los Angeles. This place was lit up from ground to sky, music and noise came from every door and the people are energized even this late at night. She picked LA not only because it was as far away from New Jersey as possible, but because she knew this is where people came to be reborn. 

She found herself walking down the infamous Sunset Strip that wasn’t a far walk from the bus stop. She didn’t have much money to get in anywhere, but that doesn’t mean she can’t try. She peeled of her denim jacket and tied it around my waist, which exposed the thin tank top she had on and more importantly her breasts. If god exists he didn’t give her much, but he did give her a great rack. She gave her ginger curly hair a nice fluff and picked the nearest club. 

“I hear this band is fucking insane, I’ve been trying forever to see them” a man said behind her and a few more people agreed with him. “They’re pretty new but I think they’re gonna make it” He said. She was intrigued. Despite the person she was back where she came from, she loved anything rock. While her friends were listened to insufferable shit with synths and pointless words, she loved a good guitarist riff and bass line. So if this band was gonna be the next big thing on the rock scene, she wanted in. 

It was her turn to get inside and she had this all planned out.

“Ticket” the bouncer said sternly. She began to pout her lip and produced fake tears.  
“I’m so sorry sir, I was mugged on my walk from my motel and the bastard stole my ticket and my motel key. I just really really really want to see” fuck what was the bands name, quick Stella... “Motley Crue so bad, this is my only chance.” She silently thanked herself as she saw the bands poster last second. She wiped a few tears from her eyes and bit her lip nervously as she gave the bouncer her best puppy dog eyes.

He hesitated for a moment then took a look over his shoulder and then stepped aside to let me her in. She smirked as she walked by him and wiped her fake tears. She was proud of herself for being able to get into this place, a great way to start her first night in California. 

She decided to keep her jacket around her waist because it was hotter than hell in there. She looked around and instantly knew this is where she belonged. Smoke filled air, leather and teased hair everywhere. This was it. 

With the few dollars she had to spend that night, she decided she wanted a drink. She made her way to the bar, proped her elbows on the sticky counter and stood on her tip toes to try to get the bartenders attentions. All of a sudden she felt a rather large hand smack her ass hard. She tensed up almost instantly. 

“And what are you drinking tonight” a man, who looked around 30 asked her with   
slurred words.

“None is your damn business” She said with her eyes clenched shut and through gritted teeth. The man tightened his grip on her ass “Can you just piss off and let me order my damn drink myself?” She shouted at him, her New Jersey accent was loud and venomous. 

“You got big balls for a small bitch.” He growled as he got closer to her. She was about to hit him senseless when a guy stepped in between them. 

“Hey man. You put your hands on my girl again and we’re gonna have issue bigger than her balls.” said the intervener. 

“Sorry Sixx, had no idea.” The asshole exclaimed and turned on his heels, back into the crown of people. 

My so called “savior” turned around and raised his eyebrows at me. “A thank you would be nice yeah know” he said with a smirk. His heart was jet black and stuck out in different directions thanks to probably a full can of aqua net. Eyeliner rimmed his eyes and he had war paint underneath them. Stella thought he looked beautiful, and she never thought of men as beautiful until she met this man. 

She laughed and rolled her eyes “Yeah sure. I could’ve handled that myself ya know. But thank you.” 

“Are you from New York?” He questioned curiously. 

“Say that again and I’ll rip your eyes out. I’m from Jersey.” She shot back at him. He laughed, but she was serious. It’s a Jersey thing. 

“Okay okay I’m sorry. My name is Nikki Sixx, are you here to see my band play?” he stuck out his gloved hand out and she shook it. 

“Stella James. And I guess so.” This man was gorgeous, and she tried her best to not show that she was seriously attracted to him. “What do you play and how long have you been playing?” She asked him as he slid her a Jack Daniels, her favorite poison and apparently his too.

Nikki downed the drink in one gulp “Forever, I think I learned how to play before I was able to talk. So what’s a Jersey girl doing out here, took a wrong turn?”

She smiled and bit her lip in a nervous manor. “I wish it was just a wrong turn, but I’m just trying to leave something behind me and getting as far away as possible was the only option” She shrugged and finished her drink. 

Nikki nodded in a approval and ordered them another round. She reached for her money but he put his hands on hers to stop the action; Stella felt butterflies in her stomach.

“You know I drink here for free right? Plus how rude would it be to let a newcomer pay for her own drinks?” He smirked as he took the glass for the bartender and handed it to her. “Take it.” She hesitated for a moment but took the whiskey and downed it with one big sip.

“Well thank you very much. I feel so welcomed already” She said as he took his hand off of hers. He looked at her with a smile and then laughed to himself. “What‘s so funny?” I asked in confusion. 

“You stood you up to that guy, looked like you could’ve rocked his shit into another dimension.” He chuckled again “stay after the set. I wanna hang.” And with that, the lanky, leather covered musician turned around and left. 

She knew what he meant, and she wasn’t to sure she wanted to hang either. But she reminded herself that she was here to start new and become a new person. “Maybe I’ll stay, see what this guys and his band are about and see if they knows of anywhere hiring, because I don’t think I’ll be getting free drinks from rockers forever.” She thought to herself. 

“Drinks are free tonight miss, curiosity of Sixx” the bartender said as he placed another jack in front of her, which shook her of her thoughts. She took the drink downed in big gulp and let the smoky liquid engulf her body. He went to pour another but she stopped him and told the man she would be back.

She explored the crown a little more and held tight onto her bags. She didnt have much but she didnt want to lose it. She found a decent spot close to the stage and really took in her surroundings. She wasn’t sure if it was the drinks so threw back or the adrenaline of finally being away form the cursed New Jersey Town, but she felt so content where she was. 

...

“We’re Motley Crue, good fuxking night!” the singer yelled into his mic as the crowed roared and the drummer decided to moon the crowd. Stella was in shock, that band was more than great, they were insane. These guys somehow put a stadium like show in a shitty venue. She was amazed on how the crowd reacted to them and she now understood why the man outside in line said he thought they were gonna make it big.   
Stella walked back to bar with one of the melodies stuck in her head. That was really her first rock show, and she was so happy it was this band; a great start to her new life in LA. She made it back to the bar and the bartender already had a jack ready for as she approached. She smiled and threw the drink back, and the bartender was already filling her glass up again. “So” and voice appeared from behind her “how’d you like it Stella?” Nikki said as he too got a drink.

Stella swallowed her drink “Are fucking kidding? That was amazing! I’ve never seen anything like it!” She said eagerly said which made Nikki smirk. 

“So after party? It’s at our house. Not really a house more like a piece of shit but it will give you a great first night in LA, we’ll christen you or something like that.” Nikki said while her threw another drink back “where are you staying?” 

“I havent really figured that out yet, I was just gonna wander until I found something cheap.” Stella said as she started feeling a little drunk. 

“Well Stella, I would be honored if a beautiful, lost New Jersey girl slept in my bed tonight.” Nikki said smoothly as he reached for her hand. Stella nearly choked on her drink, Nikki laughed and patted her on the back. “I’ll take that as a ‘Yes Nikki Sixx I would love to sleep in your bed tonight” he said in a high pitched mocked voice. 

Stella managed to swallow her drink and smiled “Show me the way” she said. Nikki looked her up and down hungrily, took her by the hand and led her out towards the Motley house. 

He was right, the place was a dump but she didnt care. It was disgusting and dirty, it probably could start a new disease itself. It was right around the corner from a bigger venue and they had to climb through the window. But she was all about it. The place was already full of guys and girls and they were all fucked up from god knows what, and Stella was intrigued. Nikki still had a grip on her hand and he lead her to a group of guys. 

“Guys this is Stella she’s from New Jersey” he said the group “Stella this is Vince, Tommy and Mick, my band mates.” Stella waved and smiled at the men who all returned the favor.

“Nice to new to you Stella I’m Tommy and welcome to California” He got up and hugged the girl which took Stella by surprise but she didn’t resist the hug. She thanked him and he sat back down with his band mates. Nikki then grabbed her hand again and lead her back to where she assumed the bedrooms were and she heard one the guys cheer him on. She ignored it, because it made her feel uneasy. 

Nikki opened the door and let her in the room. He closed the door behind her and told she could drop her bags anywhere. The room was messy, but not as bed as the living room. It just had a mattress on the floor and bottles scattered about. She dropped her bags and followed suit of Nikki, who plopped down on the mattress. 

Nikki ran his finger through her hair which caused shivers to run through her body. She never had anyone touch her so gently before. She leaned into his touch and he brought his hand to her face and turned it so she was looking right at him. 

“You have very pretty eyes” he said, but his words kind of slurred together. It was clear that he was drunk, but knew what he was doing. He leaned in and kissed her. Stella pulled back and paused for a moment, but decided to lean in. She was terrified. Not of Nikki, but of being this vulnerable in front of someone. She wasn’t exactly experienced in this realm of things as her only experience of sex was her drugged and practically lifeless and a group of football players having turns with her. But she figured maybe if she fucked Nikki Sixx, a rising rockstar, maybe she would be able to gain that part of her that was lost.

...

The two had fucked and were tangled up in the sheets on the mattress as the shared a bottle of jack between them. 

“Was that your first time” Nikki slurred as he passed the bottle to Stella, who.s legs were still shaking from the adrenaline and pleasure. 

“Yes” she lied. It technically wasn’t, but it was her first consensual time. She enjoyed it but she still couldn’t shake the memories of her past.

Nikki smiled proudly to himself and got up to return to the party that was still going on. As he left he turned to her and said “Welcome to LA.” 

She waited a moment, but then got dresses again and fixed her hair to the best of her ability. She joined the party where she got dirty looks from girls but approving looks of men. She wasn’t sure what to do, as this was no high school party. She scanned the room and saw Nikki with his band mates and he waved her over. Nikki was laughing as Vince, the skinny blonde bandmate she met right before her and Nikki fucked, was lining up white powder on the coffee table in the letters “LA”. Nikki handed her a rolled up dollar bill with a smirk. 

“Your christening, Jersey girl” he said with a smirk as Tommy and Vince laughed. Mick just shook his head as he sipped a bottle of vodka. 

“You don’t even know if the girl does blow” Mick said before he took another sip. The other boys looked at her, and she looked at them. She contemplated not doing it because all she has ever done was smoke a little pot behind the bleachers in high school. But again, she wanted to start a new life and that means new things. She already fucked a stranger in a disgusting apartment so what is a little cocaine gonna do. 

She took the dollar bill and bet down on her knees so she was close to the blow. She’s only ever seen this in movies, so she did just that. She put a finger on one nostril to close it and put the dollar bill in the other. She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply through her nose. The substance burned and made her eyes water, but she snorted the entirety of the powdered letters. Her new found friends cheered as one of them handed her a bottle. Her head spun and she felt sick to her stomach, but she was still smiling. She felt happy. She went on and she danced and drank and snorted her way through the night. She found herself going back to bed with Nikki and she didn’t question it. 

She knew this is life she needed to move on from her past, and this is what she wanted.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stella do be throwing punches tho. Kind of a filler for what’s to come, we needed some character development and some girl friends for Stella!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, I wrote this chapter instead of doing my final because college is a scam and once I finish that assignment I will be done with undergrad. So anti climatic :( anyways this chapter is a filler just so I can develop Stella and the relationships a little more. I have a bunch of stuff pre written for this story, i just gotta fill the gaps. so ideas or recs are welcome! and congrats to any other college grads out there!

Chapter Two

Stella had woken up alone, tangled in sheets on a floor mattress and a headaches that pounded through her skull. She felt like shit. She couldn’t remember much of the night after she fucked Nikki, but she knew it was fun. She gathered her things in a slow manner because her body felt like it had been hit by a train. She tied her now frizzy and poofy hair into the best bun she could and made her way to the living room to leave. 

Nikki was half asleep on a chair, Tommy was missing but Vince was and two girls were with him. One girl was way taller than Stella and definitely a bottle blonde, her hair cascaded down her back. She wore a leather tank top and denim short and her eyes were green, similar to Stella’s. The other girl was short, around Stella’s height and was wearing a similar outfit to the blonde. Her jet black hair was in two French braids and she had chocolate eyes. The two girls sat on either side of Vince, who’s face lit up when Stella walked into his view. 

“Stella you survived! We had bets on if you would die or not, Mick owes me 10 bucks now” He said proudly said. Stella smiled awkwardly, she never had someone make a bet over her life before; but she was oddly flattered by it. 

“Oh Stella, you look like shit, but at least that means you partied the right way” he said groggily and then took a sip of jack from the bottle. “Get ready to do it all again tonight.” He winked as he looked her up down which caused her to blush, even though she did in fact look like shit.

“Go easy on the girl you assholes” the blonde girl said as she got up from the couch, the black haired girl followed her as they approached Stella who felt slightly intimidated by them. “I’m Ashley and this is Veronica.” She pointed to her friend who smiled at Stella. “Nikki told us that you were new to town and needed a place to stay and luckily for you our cunt of a roommate just moved out and we have an open spot. Rent is cheap and just carry your weight for all the domestic shit.” Ashley beamed at Stella, who was shocked at the gesture. “Plus we saw you party last night and you seem like a really fun person to be around” Ashley added. 

“I.. uh.. yes I would love to but-“ she stammered, she was nervous. 

“Listen, I get it. It’s scary and I don’t know where you came from. But this will probably be your best and safest bet” Veronica chimed in. Stella looked between the two girls, who did in fact seem like really nice, genuine girls. 

“Okay, I’m in.” Stella said and the two girls jumped and hugged her. Stella couldn’t help but smile. How could two girls she had literally just met be so kind to her? No one back home was ever like that to her. Veronica said they would meet her outside and left Stella with Nikki, Vince and now Tommy; who emerged from his room ready to start his day. 

“Well Stella I hope you enjoyed your stay at Hotel Motley Crue, please take this complementary booger sugar as our token of gratitude and we hope to see you soon.” Nikki got up from his chair and handed Stella a baggie of coke and winked at her. Stella blushes as she accepted the token of coke. 

“It was great to meet you guys, I’ll be around” she said happily and she left the apartment and met her two new roommates outside in the hot August sun. 

“Nikki, I have to say man I’m jealous. She’s a total babe” Tommy said as he lit up a cigarette “I hope she keeps coming around”. He exhaled the smoke and Nikki smiled to himself.

“She was a virgin too” he said proudly, Tommy and Vince cheered for him. “Thanks for getting her with the Ash and ‘Ronnie, I want her to stick around.” Nikki said as he too lit up a cigarette and grabbed a notebook to start writing in. 

“Aw does our little bass player have a crush” Mick teased as he entered the apartment “Fucking adorable. What’s next, you gonna start bringing her flowers? On dates? Write a fucking song about her?” Mick sat down next to Nikki with his guitar and Nikki flicked his ashes at Mick but missed.

“Fuck off I don’t. She’s hot, she’s new, she’s fun.” He protested but the Vince and Tommy started to tease him as well. Nikki shook his head as his band mates teased him with kissy noises and wedding tunes. 

...  
Stella had an amazing day with her new roommates. They set her up in their apartment, which wasn’t much cleaner than Nikki’s but it was a step up. The old girl who lives there who Veronica described as a “sleazy, ass licking whore” left behind some clothes, a mattress (which Ashley promised Stella she cleaned it with bleach) and a cracked mirror. It was hardly anything, but Stella was more than happy to call this home. 

Ashley mentioned that the club she danced for was hiring for day time dancers, and that her boss trusted her and would hire anyone Ashley recommended. 

“I never danced though, I was a cheerleader but that’s different from dancing.” Stella said as they walked to the club.

“Girl. You’re skinny. You’re pretty. And if you were a cheerleader that means you’re flexible. Some practice and you’ll be fine. I take home over a thousand dollars in tips each week. And trust me, in the day you get businessmen on their lunches and husbands who are “running errands”. They tip well.” Ashley said as she brought her inside. Stella met Ashely’s boss, Mark, who was instantly thrilled to hire Stella. 

“Cheerleader huh? We can make an amazing routine for you.” He shook her hand. “Come in tomorrow, 11am. I’ll show you around, get you outfits and some lessons.” He left and Ashley was beaming. 

“Told ya Jersey Girl, you’re gonna do so well in LA” She grabbed Stella hand and Stella smiles, she really was gonna do well in LA. “Also cheerleader? That’s adorable” she teased. 

Ashley and Veronica spent the rest of the day showing Stella around the Strip. She saw posters for Motley Crue as they were going to play that weekend. She decided to take one off the telephone pole and keep it her hang to hang on her wall. The girls teased her for it but admitted they were groupies for the band. Veronica had worked at the same liquor store with Nikki and had been friends with him since. Ashley had known Vince since high school and dated on and off. Once they met each other at the first Morley show, they became instant friends and supporters of the band. 

The girls made it back to their apartment to change for the night, as they were heading back to the Motley house to party. Ashley let Stella borrow a black tube top and Veronica gave her a pair of black ripped shorts that were definitely jeans beforehand. Stella also straightened her curly locks because she hated them, another thing of her old self that she wanted gone.

The three girls shared a bottle of vodka on the walk to the Motley House and were wasted as the entered the grimy location.

“I TOLD YOU SHE WAS ALIVE YOU FUCKER” she heard Vince scream from somewhere in the crowded living room to Mick, who was sitting down and just shook his head and laughed to himself. Stella approached him and sat down next to him, boldly taking the bottle of booze from his hand and taking a sip. 

“Heard you thought I was gonna die you old fuck.” she laughed as she took another swig, Mick laughed as well as he stole the bottle back from her. 

“Hey, between the amount of coke that went up that nose of yours or the sounds I heard coming from Nikki’s room I thought you were a goner for sure.” he said in a joking tone. Before she could respond, Nikki appeared which caused those butterflies to come back. She smiled at him as he joined her and swung an arm around her. 

“Listen, Stella is a tough broad from Jersey, I saw her almost wreck this dude’s shit last night at the gig, she could probably take on anyone here” Nikki said proudly. “In fact, Stella, I dare you to go punch that guy right over there, he’s kind of a tool, and if you can knock him out in one hit, I’ll make Tommy give you twenty dollars.” Nikki’s word slurred out of his mouth and he laughed. Mick grunted something but she couldn’t hear him. 

Stella shrugged, got up and walked towards the guy who was just shorter than Nikki but as scrawny as Tommy. She was wasted but she knew she could knock this fucker out. She wanted to prove herself that she in fact was a tough broad from Jersey. She tapped the guy gently on the shoulder and he turned around. He smiled at her, but before he could say anything; Stella cocked her arm back and punched him straight in the nose. Everyone went silent, except for Nikki who just erupted in laughter. The victim of her punch did in fact, get knocked out. The guy just laid there, his face had blood gushing out but no cared. Everyone just looked at Stella, who looked at Nikki, who smiled at her. The partiers went back to normal as Stella returned to the couch.

Since that night, the guys realized on Stella to punch out anyone they wanted, mainly cucks and annoying girls. Not only did it give Stella confidence in herself, but it gave her a reputation around the Strip, people started calling her Rocky or Stella Stallone. 

The only time she ever attacked someone unprovoked by the band was when Mick’s girlfriend came to the house one night. She was not being the kindest of people to anyone but especially Mick. What sent Stella over the edge was when she smacked Mick in the face during band practice when the band was taking a break. Stella, who was perched comfortably on Nikki’s lap, jumped up and pushed the girlfriend against the wall.

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but you do not treat my friends like shit and you do not hit them. Am I fucking clear?” Stella said through gritted teeth, her short stature suddenly appeared larger as the band and her roommates watched the ordeal. 

“Oh you can just shut up. You’re just another sunset slut who will be replaced next month by the next bright eyed and busy tale bitch that comes waltzing-“ BLAM. But for she could finish her insult, Stella hit her with mean right hook. The girl clutched her mouth as she spit a few teeth in her hands. “You’re fucking psychotic” she cried as she grabbed her bag and left. Stella turned to her friends who sat their in shock. 

“Uhm. Sorry for hitting your girlfriend Mick.” Stella looked at the ground, not sure if her new friends would be happy with her actions. Mick however, just laughed and drank his vodka.

“It’s about time someone shut her up” Tommy said as he joined Mick in laughter. Stella smiled, this new person she was becoming felt more real, felt more like what she was always meant to be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikki and Stella fluff. And then Nikki and Stella drama. Tommy is a good friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all! i failed my finals so guess who didn’t graduate college! (hint its me). online learning sucks so much. 
> 
> i now am just waiting to hear what they are doing about the stadium tour. anyone else going?
> 
> also do you guys like these long chapters or prefer shorter ones?
> 
> and also sorry for any typos i try my best!!

_“Why don’t you believe me?” Stella cried to her mother who stared at her in disgust at “They hurt me Momma.” Stella’s eyes flooded with tears and she pleaded to her mother._

_“Andrew and his friends wouldn’t do such a thing Stella. This is a sick cry for attention and it’s low. You always need to be in the center of attention Stella, it’s sickening.” Her mother spat as she smoked a cigarette. “And I hope you know your outrageous accusations have consequences. And you’re going to have to clean up the mess you made.”_

_“The mess I made!? What about the boys who drugged and raped-“_

_“You weren’t raped Stella.” her mother cut her off sharply. “The only person that’s hurting you right now is yourself.”_

_“Fuck you.” Stella said through gritted teeth._

_“What did you just say to me?”_

_“I said. Fuck. You.”_

_SMACK_

Stella shrieked as she woke up from her nightmare. She was having a panic attack from her memory.

“Stella? Hey Stella, hey hey hey what’s wrong?” she felt Nikki sit up next to her and attempt to console her. “Hey shh it’s okay I’m here, you’re here, you’re okay.” he pulled her in tight in attempt to calm her down. Stella leaned into him and she tried to match her breathing with his to steady herself. He pressed his lips to her head as he slowly rubbed circles on her back. After a few minutes, Stella was able to calm down and recollect her thoughts.

“I’m so sorry. This is so humiliating.” she said as she leaned away from Nikki to wipe her eyes and fix her hair.

“No it’s not don’t apologize.” he assured her as he kept his focus on her to make sure she really was okay. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No I uhm, it’s nothing. I think I’m gonna go home.” She tried to stand up but Nikki gently grabbed her arm and pulled her back to the bed.

“Stells you can’t run away every time something goes wrong. Stay with me, you don’t have to talk about it. I’m not even good with shit like that. But I get it okay? The first few months after I ran away I had nightmares too.” Nikki said. It was the most open he had been with Stella in the month that they’ve known each other. They have gotten to know each other physically, but not emotionally.

“Really?” she asked in a small voice as she laid back down with Nikki, he wrapped his arms around her. He sighed.

“Yeah. It was a lot of shit from my past that would come up. Or about failure. But they’re just dreams and memories and they go away when you wake up. Then you have the choice to dwell on them or move the fuck on.” He twirled strands of Stella’s hair around his calloused fingers. “And I try to move on.”

“Is it hard?” she asked as she nuzzled herself closer to Nikki who sighed again.

“Yeah. It is.”

“It was about my mother. She hates me.” Stella mutter into Nikki’s chest. “She always has and it just got worse when I got older.”

“I’m sorry Stella. Mothers can suck.” the two sat in silence as they held each other until a Nikki decided to break it. “I had my mother arrested. And I haven’t seen my dad since I was four. So I get it.” Nikki felt odd about opening up, it was something he rarely did; but in this moment he felt like he could. It was just the two of them, both vulnerable and broken on the inside.

“I’m sorry Nikki.” She held him a little tighter.

“What about you? We both got mommy issues so are we a 2 for 2 with the daddy issues?” he innocently said.

“Ha well yeah. My dad used to beat the shit out of me and my mom until he just disappeared one day. And you think that would make my mom and I close but it did the opposite. It was always my fault.” This time Nikki held her a little tighter.

“I’m sorry Stella.”

The two broken home kids laid together with their limbs tangled up. The silence was comfortable and they both breathed in time with one another. Stella soon drifted into sleep as Nikki was stuck awake thinking about the girl who seemed so tough on the outside, but was actually so little and afraid on the inside.

He couldn’t help but acknowledge the he felt his heart skip a best when she laughed or a warm feeling when she smiled. He didn’t want to admit it, but he had some feelings for the little red head jersey girl. He didn’t want to but it was inevitable.  
...

Stella woke up alone in Nikki’s bed, but heard him and the guys talking in the living room as they prepped for practice. She threw on a t-shirt of Nikki’s and it practically hit her knees. She walked out to the living room as she fixed her messy hair. She was greeted with hellos and a half smile from Nikki. She hoped that her little scene last night didn’t scare Nikki away. It was one thing to open up to a person but another to have a complete panic attack in front of them. She felt vulnerable, a feeling she hated so much.

“Morning boys” she said as she joined them in the living room. They were all with their respected instruments and Vince held on to a notebook. They all said good morning but didn’t really pay attention as they were all preoccupied tuning or practicing. Nikki however, stopped playing and have her his full attention.

“Morning Stells” he said as he smiled gently. This was new, this was different. Usually she just gets a ‘see ya later’ and a playful smack on the ass. “Working today?”

“Yup, and then me, Veronica and Ashley will be at the show tonight. I can’t wait to hear the new songs” she said as she started to head for the door.

“Don’t work too hard, save some of your moves for the show.” He said with a wink. Stella blushed and smiled as she headed for the door. She was slightly confused, but she wasn’t mad about it. The two had both become vulnerable with each other last night, which proved that they can trust each other. Maybe that’s what she was searching for, trust. Stella left with butterflies in her stomach as she thought about the sweet smile Nikki gave her. A simple and basic gesture meant so much to Stella as silly as it is.

“That was really cute Sixx really it was. You gonna pack her lunch next time?” Vince teased, Tommy laughed in responses and Mick smiled to himself. Nikki grabbed the closest thing to him which was an empty beer can and chucked it at the singers head. He dodged it successfully and laughed at Nikki, who joined him in laughter.

“Listen, we’re friends and she has a tight pussy which is a rare artifact here in Hollywood so I want to keep her around.” The more Nikki denied his feelings and kept looking at Stella as an object, the less he would feel about her. Well that was his plan and he had no idea if it would work or not.

“Whatever you tell yourself Nikki, hey check this beat out.” Tommy said as he started to play the drums which distracted Nikki from Stella.  
....

It was one of their wildest shows yet. The crowd was absolutely wild and they ate up the incredible performance the band put on. The band was offered a record deal buy a little nerdy looking dude, but it was their step first into fame and they were hear for it. The booze and drugs were zipping around the party as Motley and friends enjoyed their night of success.

Stella was wasted, a little more than usual. She sat on the ground with her back against the wall, bottle of Jack in hand. Her head was spinning a mile a minute, she might have over done it this time. Between the celebratory coke, the what seemed to be endless shots at the show and now the half of bottle of jack she downed; she was on another planet.

She silently observed the room: Vince had two girls on his lap who giggled at everything he had to say, Tommy was chugging a bottle as people cheered him on, Mick sat and drank vodka to himself and Nikki...

“What the fuck?” Stella thought to herself.

When she looked to see what Nikki was doing, his tongue was down a tall brunette’s throat as their hands felt each other up. Nikki had pulled away, looked over at Stella, grabbed the girls hand then brought her back to his room. Stella felt her heart in her stomach. Why the fuck would he do that her? They were so vulnerable with each other the night before, they proved trust to each other. How could he look at her as he brought another girl to his room.

She tried to stand, but stumbled on her feet. She managed to obtain balance and grabbed her bottle of jack. Putting it to her red lips she chugged the remains of the bottle and dropped it to the ground. She had a million thoughts running through her head because of the mix of emotions and intoxicating substances.

“Stella, come sit.” It was Mick, who pulled her out of her thoughts that she didn’t even realize she was stuck in. Her fist was clenched and it trembled. She relaxed her hand and sat next to Mick and sighed.

“Why would he do that.”

“Who did what?”

“Nikki. Did a girl.” Her words slurred together and she leaned onto Mick’s shoulder as she struggled to support herself.

“He’s Nikki, he does wants hun. You gotta understand that.” He patted her head gently and sipped his vodka.

That’s the thing Stella hated about men, they always did what they wanted to do without the consideration of others. Just like back in New Jersey. Just like her father. If Nikki could do what he wanted then fuck it, so can she. Despite Mick trying to keep her on the couch, she managed to stand up and walk over towards Tommy.

Tommy was shirtless and leaned against the kitchen counters, cigarette in hand. He laughed along with the conversation but noticed a very intoxicated Stella making her way towards him. She tried to speak, but her words were incoherent which made the group of people around Tommy laugh.

“Damn Rocky youre fucked up dude.” Tommy half laughed as Stella stumbled next to him, she had to catch her balance on Tommy’s shoulder.

“Mmm Tommy wanna hangout” She said as she looked up at her taller friend. “We can play truth or dare and I dare you” she poked his shoulder “to kiss me” she laughed a drunk laugh as did the the people around them. Tommy then realized that Stella is is beyond gone and decides to not do that, but to make sure she is okay because let’s face it, it’s hard to take care of yourself when you’re blacked out. That and the fact that Nikki disappeared and she’s usually with him by this point.

“I’ll kiss ya sweetheart” one of the party goers said with a little too much excitement. He stepped towards Stella but Tommy stood in between them.

“Okay no. Stella, why don’t we come hangout in my room and we can play something else like UNO or charades.” Tommy linked her arm with his and pulled her away as she laughed and protested. Tommy managed to get her into his and Vince’s room, the latter being MIA but what else is new. Stella immediately plopped down on Tommy’s bed.

“Are we gonna play a game?” She asked, her legs dangled off the end and Tommy took it upon himself to take her shoes off and toss them in the corner.

“Yeah, it’s called uh let’s go to sleep.” He pulled her hair back in a rough looking ponytail and she laughed.

“I don’t wanna sleep though I’m sad” she made an exaggerated pouty face at Tommy, who joined her on the bed as he kept a respectful distance.

“Why are you sad pal?” He asked her, he wasn’t sure if she was serious or just trying to be cute.

“Nikki hurts my feelings.” Stella said as she laid on her side and pulled her legs close to her. Her mind was spinning from being so intoxicated and she was trying to focus on being present so she wouldn’t throw up.

“What did he do?” Tommy was curious. He cared about Stella but he also wanted dirt to hold against Nikki in the future.

“We talked last night we were all cute n shit. I told him about my family and he told me about his and I just” Stella paused for a moment in attempt to make sense “he looked right at me when he took that girl to his room. Like what the fuck Nikki.” Even though she was wasted, she sounded hurt.

“Listen Stells, he’s Nikki he do-“

“Does what he wants, I knowwww I’ve heard it all before. It’s just that it isn’t fair to me.” It was an awkward silence between them. Tommy realized that Stella genuinely has feelings for Nikki, which is a dangerous thing because he won’t ever settle down and that just means innocent people like Stella get hurt.

“I think I’m gonna sleep now.” Stella said as she pulled the cover up to her nose. Tommy put a pillow between them to make sure that Stella stayed on her side in case she threw up while sleeping and to keep the respectful distance. Tommy liked having Stella around; she was fun and badass and a good friend to the band. He thought that he would definitely kill Nikki if he chased Stella away.

...

Stella woke up with a pounding headache the urge to vomit violently. She managed to untangle herself from the sheets and beelined towards the bathroom. She dropped to her knees a threw up all of the actions from last night.

“Well that’s attractive.” Nikki smirked at the mirror as a he did his hair. Stella wiped her mouth and looked up at him in disgust.

“Shut up.” is all she said as she flushed the toilet and wiped her mouth.

“Someone’s got a real bad attitude today. Hmm is it because everyone you fucked my drummer or because you clearly can’t handle your liquor.” He turned to look at her now.

“Okay first of all, me and Tommy didn’t fuck. He took care of me because I overdid it.” She spat at him as she joined him at the sink to splash water on her face. “Second of all I was upset because of you.”

“Because of me?”

“Yes you.”

“The fuck did I do?”

“Oh I don’t know Nikki. Ask your brunette friend that you so kindly showed off in front of me as if-“

“As if what Stella. You know we’re not dating right. You’re not special just because you sleep here more times you fo than your own place. You’re just the same as any other girl who walks in this door.”

Nikki’s words stung. She knew they we’re the dating and she knew she wasn’t special. But when it came form Nikki’s mouth it hurt. Bad. She pushed by him and said ‘Fuck you’. She headed towards the door and didn’t even realize that she walked right by Vince, Mick and Tommy who were all listening to them fight in the living room. She slammed the door shut and made her way back to her apartment, still looking like shit from the night before.

“Nikki dude. That was fucked.” Tommy said as Nikki joined him and Vince in the living room.

“Yeah man like, you didn’t have to be such a asshole about it.” Vince chimed in.

“You’re a dick bass player.” Mick said for is two cents.

“Fuck off all you.” Nikki retreated in defeat to his room. Maybe he did over do it Maybe he should stop trying to fight the feelings he had for Stella and accept them. But he didn’t know how to do that. He was bad at forming and keeping relationships, which made him scared to start. And now, the one person who maybe could’ve joined him on the journey of making a good relationship, had been chased away by his habit of destroying things.


End file.
